I'm Incomplete

I feel like my family (with the exclusion of my mother) are the kind of relatives that only care about you when they have to i.e. birthdays, graduations, any holiday basically.  

I couldn’t care less (in regards to me) because I have accepted that I am nothing like them and have created my own makeshift family, but what happens if I have kids and one day they ask about their family? Theyre going to be even more distant than I am.  No one is going to care if I have a kid.  Sure I’ll get cards saying congrats, but I guarantee you that 90% of my family wouldn’t even know it’s name.

Hows that going to make my hypothetical kids feel? I’ve grown up half of my life not knowing most of my family.  I just wouldn’t want them to feel like I do with mine. A family is supposed to be there for you and love you unconditionally regardless of who you are. They are supposed to be people that you don’t have to lie to or feel ashamed of, people that you can always go to and in return be there for. That’s what I want. And not just for my hypothetical children, but for everyone.

Why doesn’t anyone understand the value of family anymore? 

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I have googled everything to try to find a way to help my mom and this is what I have found out:

-If you aren’t a veteran, someone who can claim disability or social security, or a child, there is pretty much no one willing to help you.

-Most of the cancer organizations I have looked into don’t offer much. (or most of it goes to research) And if you don’t have a specific kind of cancer they won’t help you at all.

-The financial help they offer is not for things like helping you be treated, it’s for things like transportation and medicine.  And again if you don’t have a certain kind of cancer they won’t cover the medicine. As for the transportation part, I understand that this is helpful in some ways but honestly in the grand scheme of things the gas money is so irrelevant compared to the hundreds of thousands of dollars that the hospital  charges you.  

-Even if you do have a disability…a real physical pain that prevents you from working…if a doctor doesn’t label it as a disability then it doesn’t matter. 

-Obama’s health care reform isn’t as wonderful as it sounds.  It is targeted to the young, the elderly, and the lower class.  Congratulations if you fit one of these categories! Good thing most parts of it don’t take effect until 2014.

Basically if you don’t have a certain type of cancer, meet the ridiculous government standards, have money, or have cancer at the ‘right time’ then no one cares.  Health care in 2014!? Well that’s fucking awesome.  My mom has cancer now and no one seems to give a damn.

So I have the kind of relatives that look down or talk down to you because of who you are. 

I just realized today that I can put energy into hating these people or I can just say fuck you and move on.  This is not my way of ignoring it or taking the highroad (fuck that bullshit) but It’s just a way of seeing that I as a person am so much better than them. I am a good person who doesn’t treat people unwell with out due cause or judge them based on their lifestyle. 

I laugh at you and I pity you because I know that I will never be as bad as a person as you.

whatshouldwecallme:

I don’t even know what to say. 

It’s always nice finding out your mother has cancer on mothers day.

howdoiputthisgently:

SOBER:

DRUNK:

who does this remind you of, Liz?!